***

“If the Mansion was locked down, who’d be the first to get eaten?”

In the recreation room, Jubilee turned around to stare at Bobby. “Huh?”

“Think of it. If this house was completely locked down, doors locked, no escape, who’d be the first to go? If we’d have to resort to cannibalism, who’d be the first to get eaten?” Bobby mused, staring absently at the TV screen.

“Someone who’s meaty,” Kitty said. “Powers aside, the Professor can’t run away. But he’s too skinny.”

“Peter’s meaty,” Jubilee said, “but he’d just turn to metal. Or we could wait till he falls asleep and then sink our teeth into him.”

“Then there’s Scott. He’s got these nice chicken leg arms,” Kitty giggled.

Bobby piped up. “What makes you think it’s going to be a man that gets eaten first?”

“You’d kill a woman, Bobby?” Rogue asked. “What kind of a gentleman are you?”

“The clever kind. Ladies first, you know?”

Which was followed by a pillow to the back of his head.

“How about Storm?” Bobby offered.

“Too skinny.”

“Definitely.”

“Bobby?” Jubilee snickered.

“Try it,” Bobby said, turning his right hand into transparent, clear, solid ice. “Served chilled.”

“Eww. John then.”

“He even comes with fire. He could cook himself up,” Kitty said.

"But we'd need him to cook the food,” Bobby reminded them.

“Then there’s Scott,” Kitty offered again, and got suitably dreamy-eyed. “Especially those arms of his. I swear to god, they look like chicken legs.”

“Don’t drool.”

“Logan!” Rogue said suddenly and got up to share her idea to the others. “Think, you could cut his bicep or whatever off, stick it on a stick, and cook it over the fire, and he’d just grow himself another one! It’s perfect!”

“You wouldn’t even have to kill him! He’s, like...” Jubilee reached for the word, “...the horn of plenty.”

“Or ‘horny for plenty’,” Bobby said under his breath.

Outside, on the veranda just outside the open window, Logan inhaled a bit too much of the cigar smoke, Jean tried to stifle a laugh, Scott was laughing out loud, and the Professor was trying hard not to.